The Alpaca Incident

“Don’t you want to sit in the front with Stephanie? She’s a good driver.”

Alfred shook his head nervously at Bettie as he climbed into the Fiesta and made a fuss about buckling his seatbelt tightly. Stephanie watched her grandma’s boyfriend in the driver’s mirror as her mum sat in the front, and then waited patiently until everyone was ready.

“I’ve never been to this café before. Did you say it’s also a pet shop?” Stephanie’s mum, Barbara, half turned to talk to Bettie in the back.

“Yes, we could go see the alpacas too if you want. Although Arthur probably won’t want to because his bottom is still sore from last time.”

Stephanie stifled a laugh and looked sideways at her mum who was going to ask but decided that she’d rather not know.

Instead, Barbara asked Stephanie, “Did you say your friend Lisa was joining us?”

“Yeah, she said she’d meet us there with her daughters, they enjoy visiting the animals. I’m looking forward to it too, I’ve seen the animals from the road but not actually been inside the barn.”

It wasn’t long before they arrived in Hibaldton and parked in the small carpark outside the pet shop. Stephanie got out of the car and looked up at the cottage and barn which had been converted into a cosy café and pet shop. They walked up to the wooden door and Stephanie attempted to turn the iron handle. The door remained shut.

“That’s funny,” Grandma Bettie said giving it a tug “The door is usually open. What time is it?”

“You did drive fast,” Arthur pointed out. “We’re probably too early.”

Stephanie ignored his remark and they all wandered along the carpark, crunching over the gravel, and stopping at the barn.

“It is a shame, isn’t it Arthur,” Grandma Bettie said in a stage whisper as they stood outside the large door.

“What is?” Stephanie asked listening for signs of movement within.

Arthur nodded knowingly, “The animals might have to go. Charlie told us that there’s an inspector coming today and that he might close the place down. Maybe he’s been already.”

“Oh, that is a shame,” Barbara sighed watching Stephanie as she started to tug at the door and then looked surprised when it slid open. “Stephanie, what are you doing?’

“I just wondered if the owner was in here, Charlie is it?” Stephanie asked looking at her grandma.

“Yes, his name’s Charlie, he’ll be so upset.”

Stephanie stepped onto the hay covered flooring and looked around. There were wooden stalls where she could see the head of one alpaca look over at her inquisitively, it was busy chewing something and then its head disappeared back down behind the door of its enclosure. At the back, light streamed in from a field behind the barn. It was only a small area, the only land to avoid being built on by housing developers.

Suddenly, an alpaca sauntered in from the field and trotted across warily. Its eyes stared ahead unblinking in its white, woolly head. Stephanie froze, not wanting to startle the animal but also realising that she might actually be scared of alpacas.

To Stephanie’s relief, it stopped, its jaw moved from side to side thoughtfully, then it dropped its head to sniff the ground. Stephanie looked down at the floor and was surprised to see a pair of black boots sticking out behind a hay bale.

“Hello,” Stephanie called uneasily, “Charlie?”

There was no reply. She stepped forward slowly, hoping that the boots were empty. Unfortunately, behind the hay bale lay a man, face down, wearing black trousers and a beige jumper with a distinctive hoof mark on his back. The alpaca sniffed his jumper and then reached over to nibble at a bag of animal feed that was half leaning on the man’s head.

Stephanie stepped back, only to bump into her mum and grandma.

“Oh my god! Is that a body?” Barbara gasped and grabbed Stephanie’s arm.

“That doesn’t look like Charlie,” Bettie shook her head. “I bet it’s the animal inspector.”

“How can you both be so calm? Shouldn’t you check… you know to see if he’s…alive?” Barbara’s eyes looked wildly at her daughter.

“Why me?” Stephanie looked back at the body with its arm twisted at an odd angle, it didn’t look hopeful, and then at the unusually stretched neck of the gigantic teddy bear-like beast.

 “Do alpacas bite?” Stephanie asked, and as if in response it shook its head and seemed to grin, revealing two huge brown front teeth.

Stephanie noticed it seemed to be looking at Arthur who quickly ran back outside with his hands covering his behind.

“I knew it wasn’t a good idea to let the ‘Angel of Death’ bring us here,” he muttered on his way out.

Just as Arthur disappeared, in walked Lisa. Stephanie put her hand up to warn her best friend to come no further.

 “Where’s Pheobie and Sofia?”

“Oh, they went to a friend’s instead, what’s wrong?” Lisa asked as she walked into the barn.

When Lisa saw the body, her shoulders slumped. “Not again.”

“What d’you mean, not again. How many bodies do you usually find?” Barbara asked, surprised.

Stephanie and Lisa exchanged glances, and when Lisa started to count on her fingers Stephanie stood in front of her and squeaked, “None! Well, not since what happened in the Spring.”

“Don’t forget her husband,” Lisa continued.

Stephanie glared at her friend.

Lisa continued, “What? Your mum already knew about that.”

“And then what about up the incident up the road,” Grandma Bettie started to join in.

“What incident? You don’t tell me anything,” Barbara complained.

“Anyway, it’s not always about dead people. Stephanie, tell her about the mystery with Rosie, nobody died that time.”

Stephanie thought about whether to tell her mum or not.

“Was that in Hibaldton?” Barbara asked, looking round Stephanie to talk to Lisa.

“Not all mysteries are in this village mum.”

Lisa peeked around to say, “No it was in the abandoned fairground in Cleethorpes.”

“Abandoned …what? Stephanie?”

“What are you all doing here?” A woman’s voice interrupted their huddled conversation.

They all turned to see a policewoman and a man standing in the doorway.

“How did you get in here? I closed the door and I only left it for a couple of minutes! You shouldn’t enter properties without permission,” PCSO Manning demanded in the most official voice she could muster.

“Sorry,” Stephanie apologised, “I thought I heard Charlie inside; I didn’t see your police car.”

“I’m parked up the road, I ran over when I got the call.”

“Charlie are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Bettie called and rushed over to the owner who stood in the doorway looking pale and shaken.

“I’m ok Bettie love, I nearly fainted but I feel a bit better now.”

PCSO Manning walked further in causing everyone to spread out in a semi- circle around the poor man lying face down in the hay. The policewoman sighed and shook her head at them all.

“I don’t suppose any of you has tampered with any evidence, have you? I didn’t even have time to put the police tape up. ”

“Is he….dead?” Barbara asked shakily.

“I am afraid so.”

“I didn’t do it… just putting it out there… to be clear,” Stephanie said firmly.

“She didn’t,” Grandma Bettie and Barbara said together and started to tell the police constable how they had all turned up together.

“Please, stop talking. It’s ok, I know you didn’t do it. If you haven’t got anything to tell me that can add to our enquiries, then you should all go.”

“The ‘Angel of Death’ strikes again,” Arthur moaned reappearing in the doorway.

Stephanie turned to her grandma.

“Can you please ask him to stop calling me that.”

Bettie shrugged and looked at Charlie. “Is it the inspector?”

“I haven’t looked at his face yet, we’re not allowed to turn him over,” Charlie said quietly,

 “Plus, I’ve never met the inspector before.”

While they were talking, Stephanie had been looking around the barn and had noticed a few things. The man had some bright, green pellets in his hand, he was also holding a pen. A small hole was in the side of the animal feed bag, and looking upwards, Stephanie noted that there were more bags stored in an open loft above them. A wooden ladder was leaning away from the loft edge against the corner of the barn. On the wall was a long pen mark, as if someone had drawn a shaky line, and half way up the ladder was a muddy footprint on one of the rungs.

“It looks like the inspector was interested in the animal feed,” Stephanie remarked, pointing at the hole in the bag.

Charlie grunted, “I don’t know why he was sneaking about the place, he only had to ask if he wanted to look in the bags.”

“Do you think that’s his footprint, on the ladder?” Stephanie asked the policewoman.

She walked carefully around the body to look at the tread on his boots, then over to the ladder.

“It looks like it, but we need the crime scene investigators to check it out to be sure.”

“I can’t believe, we’re standing in a crime scene,” Barbara gushed. “Do you mind if I take a picture?” She started to look in her bag.

“Mother! You can’t take a photo, this poor man has just died!”

“Oh yes,” Barbara looked at the body, still lying amongst the hay, “I’m so sorry,” she said to him.

PCSO Manning looked at them in awe, not quite believing what was going on. Still, no other police had turned up yet, so she wasn’t in a rush for them to leave. She was beginning to get used to seeing Stephanie at crime scenes lately anyway.

“It looks like he was going to feed the alpacas,” the policewoman sighed.

“He shouldn’t have done that. Matilda hates it when anyone goes up that ladder,” Charlie explained.

“Does she spit or get angry?” the policewoman enquired.

Charlie looked puzzled. “No, my wife stopped spitting at people years ago. She insists on holding the bottom of the ladder when I go up.”

Just then someone else arrived and they all turned to see who it was.

A young man stood in the doorway, he looked like he was about twenty, he was wearing jeans and a plain t-shirt with a lanyard round his neck and a brown leather bag hung on his shoulder. Stephanie recognised him as one of the local reporters who had talked to her recently after she and her friends had solved a recent mystery in the village.

“How did you get here so quickly?” asked the policewoman, clearly annoyed. This crime scene was quickly turning into an event, they’d be selling tickets next. She walked up to him, preventing him from getting out his camera.

“Sorry, I called him yesterday, when I knew the inspector was coming. I just wanted someone here to witness the inspection, I thought getting the press on my side would help,” Charlie gabbled, looking rather ill at this point.

“Oh, come on now, freedom of the press and everything, what’s going on? Don’t tell me the inspector’s tried to close down the pet shop and things got ugly did they?”

Before the officer could say anything, everyone was quick to voice their own opinion.

“No, absolutely not.”

“We don’t know what happened to him, he was just lying there when we got here.”

“He broke into my barn and fell.”

“A bag of animal feed fell on him.”

“The alpaca did it.”

PCSO Manning put her hands in the air and shouted over the commotion, “Will everyone be quiet for a minute! You, young man, will have to wait for an official police statement, which you will get when the detective gets here.”

There was a snuffle from the woolly alapacas, who seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely. The one in its stall, popped its head up to see what all the commotion was about. Stephanie felt like they were in a T.V. sitcom, and the animals were watching them. She wouldn’t be surprised if they started to eat popcorn soon.

“Wow, so the inspector is dead, is he?” The young reporter whistled slowly. “This is going to be my first murder scene.”

“No, not a murder scene,” the policewoman insisted.

PCSO Manning started to escort him out of the barn and turned to persuade everyone else to follow.

As they stood in the car park, a brown car pulled in, its tyres crunching on the gravel as it parked next to Stephanie’s car.

They all watched as a man got out of the car and reached in to get his bag. He stood up and looked over at the crowd of people watching him, and noticing the police officer, he grew more nervous. He’d come across trouble from angry crowds before, but he wasn’t expecting it today, on his first visit.

“Hello, I’m looking for Charlie Davenport?” The man looked around expectantly.

Charlie stepped forwards. “And who might you be?”

“You’re expecting me, sorry I’m a bit late,” he said pushing his glasses further up his nose. “My name is John Smith, I’m from DEFRA to inspect your farm.”

There was a pause, while everyone took this news in. The crowd looked from the man to the barn and back to the man who was by now wishing he’d not bothered turning up. He’d only agreed to work on a Saturday because he was going on holiday the week after.

Suddenly everyone started to talk at once. If he was the inspector, then who was the man in the barn? Why had this person broken into the place and why was he looking in the animal feed bags? Why was the inspector here? What does DEFRA mean anyway?

Eventually, when the commotion had died down, they all watched with bated breath, as the inspector got out his paperwork from his satchel. He leafed through the sheets until he found what he was looking for.

He coughed before addressing Charlie, “It seems that one of your neighbours informed us that your farm was …” he read directly from the notes, “unhygienic and causing a rat problem in his garden.”

“That’s outrageous!” Charlie exploded; his face had turned from pale to bright red. “That is a blatant lie, we have no more rats or vermin than anyone else in the village. I do have traps down but… well go and look around, we keep it clean, the hay is always fresh…”

“You do keep it clean Charlie,” Bettie defended her friend, “I come here, to the café, and its always clean. It has five stars doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does, thank you Bettie for reminding me.”

PCSCO Manning intervened just as a police car and van appeared on the scene.

“Right, if you could remain here please with Charlie, everyone else, you need to leave.”

“But who is the body in the barn?” Bettie asked as they climbed into Stephanie’s Fiesta.

“Excuse me,” said a voice behind Stephanie.

Stephanie turned, hand on her car door, to find the young reporter standing there.

“I was wondering if you had any thoughts about solving this case.”

Stephanie paused before answering, “I think it’s not a difficult case to solve.”

“Really?” He looked at her expectantly.

“I believe it was a tragic accident.”

“Do you know who the body in the barn was?”

“Not for certain.” She looked at the young reporter, who was keen for his big break. “I don’t think you’ll have to go far to find out who he is.”

In the car,  they discussed it further.

“Who do you think the body is?” Barbara asked Stephanie.

“I don’t know for certain, but I bet he’s the complaining neighbour. Did you notice that the ladder wasn’t leaning against the ledge but away from it? I think he climbed up to get at the animal feed, the ladder probably slipped or possibly the alpaca moved against it causing him to fall.”

“How do you know he fell?”

“There was a shaky pen mark down the wall and a muddy footprint halfway up the ladder. I’m guessing that as the ladder slipped, his pen scraped the wall and he fell probably pulling the heavy bag of food down with him.”

Barbara looked at her daughter in surprise as Grandma Bettie said, “She’s like Sherlock Holmes, but the female version…Shirley Holmes.”

“But it still doesn’t explain why.”

“He probably wanted to make sure there was some damning evidence for the inspector to find. There were some green pellets in his hand that looked like rat poison. The neighbour did complain about rats in his garden. I bet the police won’t have to look for to find rat poison at his place and if there’s one thing that would close down Charlie’s farm and the pet shop in a jiffy, it would be the use of poison near animal food,” Stephanie concluded.

“Urgh, I think I’ll leave it for a while before I go back there again,” Barbara winced.

“Rat poison! That’s awful, the poor animals could have eaten them. Well, I’ll be there as soon as they open up,” Bettie said firmly. “Charlie and his family need us even more now. I’m sure whatever they find, he’ll clean it up and they’ll be back to normal in no time.”

When they parked at Stephanie’s parent’s house, Barbara turned to Stephanie and sighed disapprovingly, “I hope you don’t go round looking for trouble.”

Stephanie tried not to laugh at her mum’s reaction.

“What do you mean mum, it’s not like it’s a hobby of mine!”

They climbed out of the car and Stephanie couldn’t help feeling slightly annoyed, as if it was her fault it had happened.

“I don’t look for bodies you know.”

“Well, I’m just saying, be careful.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes. “Yes mum. I am nearly thirty you know.”

“You’re never too old to listen to your mother.”

Barbara stopped before they entered the house to give her daughter a final warning.

“And, whatever you do, don’t tell your father.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes, sighed and walked in, remembering to take her shoes off on the mat.